POSEIDON REX should be a drinking game. Anytime you see bad acting, horrible CGI, a nice pair of knockers, or a Boom Mic you have to drink. If you were playing, your blood alcohol level would be 34.3 by the end of the opening credits. Don’t get me wrong this is a fun film!
POSEIDON REX follows a treasure hunter, Jackson Slate (Brian Krause) who is being chased by some cartel looking for their money. Jackson has found a boat that … Ah shit there’s a big-ass-swimming-T-Rex-monster chasing and eating people the rest doesn’t matter does it?
POSEIDON REX falls in line of the genius that was SHARKNADO. This one does cross that line of a really bad film turing good. I laughed I giggled, I shook my head in disbelief. All with the admiration of director Mark L. Lester, who also directed one of my favorite action movies COMMANDO.
The P-Rex itself is a riot, when it’s walking the feet don’t even touch the ground, and when it’s in the water it barley makes a wake in the water. It chops up boats, leaves trinkets floating in the water but no parts of the boat are left behind. Here a couple of things I leaned from T-Rexnado, I mean POSEIDON REX:
-When being chased by a water dwelling P-Rex, have sex with a blonde with the biggest boobs, no matter if the P-Rex can show up at any minute.
-When you find a military base that’s been vacant for 30 years, there WILL be a brand new plane, with gas handy and a rocket launcher (oh and the utilities will still be on to power the base).
-There are such things as immortal jellyfish “that don’t die”.
-When checking to see if your girlfriend is dead, if her chest is going up and down (breathing) just leave her cause she’s obviously dead.
-The dude speaking with a Jamaican accent, gold tooth, and one fucked up eye is always the leader of the gang.
There’s more but I don’t want to spoil it for you.
Bottom line if you like these types of movies, like I do, you’re going to love it, laugh and have a goodtime, if not you’re going to hate it. Well even if you think you’re going to hate it, it does have Anne McDaniels in it who I can watch all day long!
Anderson Digital and ITN Distribution will be releasing POSEIDON REX on iTunes and in theaters on April 18th.
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